Worth Talking About

I recently found myself thinking back to my sophomore year of college.  That year I moved out of my parent’s house and into the dorm of my Bible College.  I was rooming with some old friends and soon made new ones that would become more like brothers to me.  The friendships that developed during that first year are still ones I hold in high regard today.  We did a lot of things that would make for great stories and embarrassing retellings.  We still come to tears sometimes when we relive some of those moments and revisit the actions that easily could have gotten us kicked out of school.  The girls we chased after, the stupid pranks we pulled, and the lack of attention to hygiene were all indications that for many of us it was the first time living away from parents.   But it was all in good fun and it was a great way to keep our minds off of the homework we were procrastinating.

But one day in particular stands out in my mind.  It was the day before classes started and like me, many were moving in and setting up their would-be home for the semester.  I met someone who would become a close friend and future roommate.  As we talked for the first time he began to share to gospel with me.  In my head I began laughing thinking about the absurdity of someone not only sharing the gospel with someone who has been in church their entire life, but also that we were both at a Bible College.  We would all poke fun at him for such actions when we retold the stories, but we always considered him a good friend. 

Years later I would find him to be a roommate of mine and we often would laugh at the retelling of his evangelism on campus.  One day, however, he finally offered an answer for his actions.  He said straight faced, “I just didn’t think there was anything else worth talking about.” 

The thought was never on evangelism, it was never about converting people, there was just nothing that captured his attention and thoughts like the gospel.  He was overcome by the transforming power of the words of Christ.  I think about the words of Paul in Romans chapter one: “So for my part I am eager to preach the gospel to you who are in [the church in] Rome.”  Paul here is adamant about preaching the gospel to the church, the very people who are already saved.  The power of the gospel when it consumes us is transforming not only to conversion, but also is renovating the believer every day. 

Are we overtaken by the gospel?  Is the church at a place where we so treasure the transforming power and nature of Christ that is permeates from our every action?  Or do we show the gospel has changed us at all?  At the end of the day I find myself asking whether the gospel is transforming me and making me more like Christ, or do I carry it as if it were nothing more than an accessory to my life?

When I saw my friend walk up to me and tell me about Jesus I didn’t realize that he was doing this because his mind was being overcome by the love of Christ; I didn’t know that he was driven by the only thing that offered him joy, the only thing that gave him purpose.    

Rise Today

I love metal.  I mean I listen to it all the time and drum along in my truck as I revel in the glory that is all things heavy.   Let me paint a picture.  Lane lines are passing by at a sluggish rate, tail lights are as far as the eye can see, vehicles move forward for half of a second then suddenly stop.  It’s a Thursday and this is traffic.  Twenty-five minutes to work and I stare at the back of the same SUV until I slowly make my way off the 202, two more right hand turns, then into the office parking lot.  The monotony of it all would leave anyone without motivation to even step out of the vehicle, but I step out energized and ready to face the world. Why?  Back up twenty-five minutes…..  As I back out of my parking space I reach for a cd, and the obvious choice is Alterbridge’s Blackbird album.  The amazing rush of full bodied vocals, some of the most tasteful drumming, and screaming guitar solos that can boost whatever bad mood I was in, all of these make the most incredible musical fusion that takes me away from the mundane.   I slam my steering-wheel to match the fills of Scott Phillips and I am ready to ditch work and just get behind some drums.  But then the next track starts.  The hard hitting riffs are toned down on this song, a little more somber now, but the pulse is the same.

Myles Kennedy hits incredible vocal notes as the message comes out…”I wanna Rise Today and change this world.”  A great message of calling the society to impact the world; a man’s statement to declare his longing to not let the world around him stay the same.   Amidst of the celebrities who define self centeredness it does seem nice to see some who have thoughts of global improvement; and it is refreshing to witness.   Maybe it’s just the musical genius attached to the lyrics but this song seemed to hit me, “Rise Today and change this world.”  I began to think critically, as I often enjoying do,  and started wondering what drove this musician to such a thought, what brought Myles Kennedy to think about the state of the world and long for its improvement?  Of course I understand the doctrine of total depravity and often think about the fallen state of the world, but an unbeliever, a celebrity, realizes it as well. 

Something has gone terribly wrong with humanity.   There is no denying it whatsoever.   Even those who don’t believe in religion, those who don’t believe in sin, even the person who looks at what we call sin and says “that is nothing but a creation on the part of religion to control others,” even that person has to see it.  I look at a news story from west Texas where a middle-aged man kicked in the door of an elementary school and put a bullet in the back of the head of 11 4^th graders, and at this moment we have to note the fallen state of man.  Even the one who would say “that does not exist,” looks at that situation and says “that is wicked!!!!”  The staunchest atheist looks at that and has no choice but to say “something has gone wrong here!!!!”  The issue then seems to be what to do with this state of humanity.   The band mentioned here is calling man to action, to wake up and strive for change, to not let this world simply be what it is but instead to invoke change.  Upon witnessing man in his current state, even the unbeliever knows that there must be something better than what we have now.    

I begin to think about man’s attempts to better the world: some attempts good, others made their way into history books as atrocities.  I think about the meta-narrative of the world, how has it changed?  Are their fewer wars today than 1000 years ago?  Is there less hunger than 200 years ago?  With all of the myriads of organizations doing great things throughout the world, is disease dropping off the face of the planet?  Has the world become united?  Do we wake up and think about the growth and movement of the world?  Do we contemplate the amazing changes we are seeing?  No.  There is not great change.  Wars are being fought, people are being slaughtered, children still die.  So I ask, what change has actually occurred in the world throughout history? 

(Disclaimer:  I am not downplaying the efforts and successes of great organizations across the globe that accomplish great things to better the lives of impoverished nations and meet the needs of those who desperately need such aid. I am simply noting that though these are great and necessary things to happen, they are not solving a problem, only treating symptom.) 

I have seen only one sincere change in the world as I look throughout all of history.  A change that made such an impact on the world that history itself is centered around it, and a simple two letters that demonstrate this change: A.D.  (or C.E.)  The advent of the Christ severed the timeline of history and offered a resounding change in the world which boasts effects still running in our world today.   I contemplate the works of Christ, the message that offered the only true hope our world has ever seen.  Then I find comfort in his last words:

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."

If change is going to happen, Christ gave us the methodology here.  If the fallen state of man is to be impacted at all, it is not going to happen by the means of man himself.    This is not to be a conclusion that robs us of joy, but quite the contrary.  The state of the world is seen by even the unbeliever to be in desperate need of change, and yet only those equipped by the Holy Spirit are in fact capable of causing real change.  Only us marked by the gospel have the ability to offer true hope, to offer a message of good news.  Only those who find their identity in Christ can partner with Him and “Rise Today.”  I find a great deal of duty, as well as honor in these thoughts: that though the rest of the world may even be able to see the need for hope, for change, only the redeemed have it.  This is not to be some power wielded arrogantly, but instead it is a charge placed to us by Christ himself with His last words.  We have our calling, and the harvest is great.  I look to my Lord for strength, direction, and encouragement as I leave my vehicle.  Oh God, help me rise today. 

Laying Aside Every Encumbrance

The author of Hebrews spends the end of chapter 11 painting a picture of what it means to pursue righteousness regardless of the consequences. The “Hall of Faith,” as it were, is full of the heroes and saints that proclaim the gospel and lived lives that undoubtedly demonstrate their commitment to God, and their passion for the advancement of His kingdom. The story of Abram willing to give his only son, Moses parting the red sea, and many others who performed acts of righteousness and obtained promises.  The message given to the future generations is one of what a gospel driven life looks like, and the result is not always one we would desire.  There will be those who shut the mouths of lions, and there will be those who get devoured by them, and yet the conclusion is the same: these were men of whom the world was not worthy of.  No matter the circumstances or tragedy that encompassed the lives mentioned, the honor attributed them is the same, and the mission is worthy of such lives.  

What a humbling message of this chapter, what a challenge to all those who wish to approach the Christian life: it may not end well.  The author speaks of this fact so easily as if to say that we must accept this as our possible fate if we wish to run this race.  With this in mind I read the opening words of chapter twelve:

“Therefore, since we so great a crowd of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

I note four major things in this verse: 1) the importance of the word “therefore,” 2) the call for endurance, 3) the need to shed sin, and what stands out the most to me 4) the laying aside of every encumbrance.  The first think I take note of is the use of the word “therefore.”  It’s as if the entire previous chapter is summed up and the author adds, bearing this in mind let’s do the same as we the heroes we praise; but we must understand how we can do such.  The next three observations unpack how we can do this.  The need for endurance is apparent, for one who does not follow through with the calling is not a person who is worthy of the gospel.  Likewise sin must be continually shed if one strives for holiness, so again this is a seemingly obvious need for the Christian life.  But amidst this verse there is one thing that is not as easily understood; the shedding of other things, besides sin (because textually we see the author is speaking of two different things). 

This verse leads me to the conclusion that there are things that I can hold onto that are not sinful and not against God, and yet I must shed such things. So amidst this understanding I cannot help but ask, what must I shed?  What would God call me to shed, and more importantly, would I give it up?  Now I am not speaking to ridiculous self abasement, nor am I speaking to the miniscule sacrifices, like giving up a daily cup of coffee to provide for a compassion child.  Instead I ask about what is important to me that God could rightfully call me to dismiss.  All this to simply pose the question: “What if He asks?”  What happens when God calls me to rid myself of something I want?  What will my response be when he calls me to rid myself of my music ministry, my occupation, my relationships, or even my comfortable life-style?   Will I faithfully follow His calling, will I quit the second He asks for something I love? 

This question used to drive me to a place of extreme stress.  I would long to know that Christ was important enough to me that I would never think twice about giving up anything else if it became an encumbrance.  And yet as I longed to make nothing in my life as valuable as Christ I realized that my approach was flawed.  I do feel that such a question must be asked of us and to wait until God asks for such things is a poor way to find out if you are able and willing to do so.  But amidst pondering this I could not help but feel that my focus was wrong, that I would focus upon the sacrifice asked of me without realizing that what I give up holds no comparison to the life I am called to.  I feel the best way to illustrate my perspective is with an anecdote:

A young boy has a vision in his mind, that vision is a Nintendo 64. (ok, so this was 1997)  He finds a way to earn the money doing one of the few things he is able to do: yard-work.  He finds neighbors who are willing to pay him to mow, rake, and trim up their yards and so he is on his way to his goal.  An entire summer passes of pure sweat and hard work, and yet he is still not close to reaching his financial goal for this beloved gaming system.  The realization hits that he will have to repeat the hard work and effort the next year.  After a school year passes and summer is upon him, he goes to the same neighbors and repeats the process.  As the summer draws to a close, he soon realizes that he has worked hard enough to gain his desire and he is off to the store to finally complete his dream.  At the moment the he pulls the system off the shelf he begins to contemplate the two summers of work he endured, the sweat that kept falling from his brow, and the countless scrapes and bruises.  He walks to the register and hands over the sweat stained bills all the while thinking of all the hard work and devotion he displayed for such a long time.  When the purchase is complete, he grasps tightly his reward and knows it was worth it. 

It is not something that is regretted, it is not as if he wants his time back, he is happy to give up every ounce of pain, sweat, and even blood to afford this treasure, and it’s finally his.  In this same way I see the glory of a life lived for the gospel, it is never wasted, never full of regret, and always something to bring praise.  I gladly hand over any encumbrance that God would ask of me if it aids me in my pursuit of righteousness.  It is not something to hesitate, it is not something to regret, it is nothing less than me trading something of lesser value for the only thing that will truly satisfy: Christ.  Much has been asked of me thus far, many things I loved I have shed, and more is to come I am sure; but I am not ashamed of the gospel that I have been called to proclaim, and for it I gladly would give my all, including my comfort, relationships, and even the breath in my lungs.  For the cross, I lay it all aside.  

The Train

Do I ever evaluate all I do?  I mean, I have my hands in ministries and use to at times spread myself thin in doing so, but do I ever just take a step back and think about what I and many like me really do?  When I teach, what am I really doing?  I'm sure I convince myself that I am edifying the Biblical minds of my peers and disciples by showing the word of God through theological application, but was I just squeezing my voice box until sounds came out that just happened to form sentences?  Were my words of so great importance that God was impressed, or even Satan impressed?  When I play music, do I strike tones that form chords and rhythms to empty words and phrases that may have even touched emotion but in the end have done nothing?  What have I done at the end of the day? 

I can get so much from the few simple words from the apostle Paul when he says.

“Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, and the most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. Some, to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will; the latter do it out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the former proclaim Christ out of Selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment.  What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice.  Yes, and I will rejoice.”

The preachers of the gospel even with false motives are praised by Paul as advancing the gospel.  WOW!  The ever so selfish, narcissistic, hedonistic motives of people all around us are in one swoop swatted aside by the train of the gospel message.  What does this mean?  It means that the God we serve and the message he gives is far greater than our words, actions, and motives.  It will get done with or without us, the mission is too big to begin or end with us!  So as this train moves I cannot help but ask myself......

AM I ABOARD THIS TRAIN, OR DO I MERELY STAND NEXT TO IT TRYING TO PUSH AT A MESSAGE THAT MOVES FASTER THAN I COULD EVER GO?   The train is moving and will continue, but where am I in this process?   Do we realize what we have been charged with telling?  Sometimes I question whether or not I fully understand this metaphoric train of salvation.  Are we on this train with God as he uses us to travel as separate directions in which he is still in control?  Do we attempt to push or shout encouraging words at a movement that won't even notice us?  Or do we stand in the tracks and try to hold back this love message that will undoubtedly run over us as if we never existed?

The gospel is no without movement, it rushes throughout history and advances at a rate that is unparalleled.  It is beyond human grasp, or even human obstruction.  It is the work of the supreme God, it is the workmanship of Christ, it is the death of immorality, it is the end of religiosity.  I look at Genesis twelve where God spoke to Abraham and told him that his descendents would be a blessing to the world, are we really surprised that God did just that?  We are caught up in this beautiful meta-narrative, a message that whether accepted or rejected works in its hearers.  We are amidst the greatest demonstration of power and sovereignty, how then shall we live?

A fellow train passenger

Come Lord Jesus, Come

It is an often sang grouping of words.  They can easily be hollowly uttered as simply to take part in the same activity as everyone in the immediate vicinity.  I find myself singing the same vacant words as everyone else, maybe even on a good day I actually think about these words enough to realize that I, my depraved self, am mouthing words of severe consequence, and that I truly never anticipate an actual occurrence.  For these dire consequences I fail to acknowledge are encompassing the ability to make my comfort level decrease, and could indeed begin to break what I feel is my superiority above my fellow man: my greater spirituality.  But yet I, with little conviction at all, sing “Come Lord Jesus, Come.” 

Even if I convinced myself that such words deserved meditation and I contemplate the arrival of this Jesus I so openly call upon, would I be apt to this advent?  Would I greet my savior with open arms and enjoy His very presence; would I come face to face with my creator and have any pleasant feelings at all?  Would there be shame?  Would I understand my uncleanliness?  Would I come to see this gentle God of love who comforts me in His arms, or would my life be so repulsive that the sight of me would cause the anger of Christ to burn?  Yes I know the doctrine of Atonement, reconciliation and the like; but does my seemingly constant failure cause my sanctification to be called into question?  All of it begs the question: “What would the divine’s reaction be to me if amidst this mundane calling of mine, He showed up?”  And still I sing, “Come Lord Jesus, Come.”  

One could easily ponder this indeed painful question for centuries, but instead I find myself longing to find in the scriptures how many reacted to the actual appearance of the divine.  Isaiah chapter six tells the story of a young prophet encountering God, and amidst this vast glory the only words he can mutter are “Woe is me, for I am ruined!  Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.”  Woe is me, for I am ruined; what a painful statement to make in the presence of the Father, and yet we picture our God gentle, loving and accepting.  Not that He is not described with such adjectives, but this is not Isaiah’s first reaction.  He is broken in the revelation of his unclean lips as well as the sins of his people.  Not only is he shamed for his sin, he verifies his depravity by making note of the failures that surround him.  When I call to God, I wonder if I have ever sought brokenness for the sins of myself and my people.  But still I sing “Come Lord Jesus, Come.”

The book of Acts chapter nine tells of the Apostle Paul’s encounter with Christ.  As then Saul traveled to carry out orders to destroy those who follow Christ, he met this same Christ and was blinded.  As the heavy question of Christ rang out “Why do you persecute me?” Saul was given new orders, to travel into the city and wait for words of instruction.  This unexpected encounter would render a man blind and cause severe transformation in a life that would come to be a vessel for the transcription of great portions of the scripture we look to today.  When I view this appearance, I do not see a God who comforted, a God who spoke softly, but instead I am stricken with the image of a God who struck a man down, rendered him blind, and demanded obedience.  I do not view such a text and immediately jump to the thought that the divine would perform the same action unto me which is described here, but I do note that this encounter was one that demonstrated the severity of the chastisement of God.  I see this Christ who displays such power over physical beings, and commands organs to cease being productive; this was the Christ that appeared to Saul and convicted the murderous heart of Christian slayer to become one of the most utilized persons in the New Testament.  If my hollow words of longing for God to appear were responded to, would he have such harsh questioning for this man, would he strike me down in shame?  Often I don’t even ponder the effects of these words I sing, but I continue singing nonetheless, “Come Lord Jesus, Come.”  

I know I serve a God who demonstrated great mercy in my justification.  Likewise I know that such action speaks volumes to the love God has for me despite my former depravity.  But I cannot help but wonder, what would my reaction be if I found myself in the presence of God as clear as it was for the aforementioned?  I cannot take lightly these words, and so seeking righteousness I sing, “Come Lord Jesus, Come.” 

All This For a King

6 hours on a plane; airport shuffle to the rental car, driving through amazing green tropics, arriving at the room, I open the balcony doors and step out: welcome to Kauai.  I breathe in the deep ocean air and take in the glorious view of the bluest water crashing against the bluff.  I am without words save for “All this for a king.”  Every grain of sand, every passing wave, every breaching whale: all for a king, the king.  I cannot help but be overwhelmed with the beauty of this place and feel so insignificant amidst God’s vast creation.  Every smell is new to me, every sight is refreshing, and every sound reminds me of how far I am away from my ordinary life.

            Inside this moment I make an evaluation of my life, my jobs, my relationships, my attitudes; regret sets in.  I am not where everyone else is.  I am not as happy as everyone around me, I am without the joy that seemingly comes so easily for all others, but avoids my heart.  The woman I am in love with is not yet my wife, my bills barely get paid most months, my hard work for a degree goes useless (aside from providing plenty of debt); I know change is needed, but where to start?  I look around at the magnificent creation of a sovereign God and then look at my life and cannot help but think “All this for a king?”  How can this life be fit for a king?  How can the creator of such beauty look proudly upon me and say that I too am for Him?  The scenery is perfect, yet I am far from calm inside.

            I take in more deep breaths; just then Julia comes outside to the view with me.  I hold her hand as I relay my feelings of anxiety and confusion.  I know the rocks and sand serve a purpose to a king, but how is it that my life seems to lack such a purpose right now, in front of this great display of glory.   

            I wake up the next morning and sit on the balcony with my MacArthur NASB; I am yearning for the text to speak to me and give be hope.  Paul is speaking to the Jews and Gentiles about God’s work in salvation.  Chapter one gives three things to look for: hope of His Calling, riches of the inheritance, and the glory of His power bestowed on us.  These three promises are not just for me to selfishly claim.  But are in fact for the same king who grants them.  That my life may be hopeful in this calling (Hebrews 11 tells me that my view of success is not the same as God’s) that it may find glory in the riches of my inheritance (1 Peter tells me that this is not for today, but for the day of His revelation) and that I may delight in the power given me (Romans 8 says I am more than a conqueror) then I can gladly say my life is all for a king, The King. 

            I find the view to have less appeal as I reflect on my purpose, whether painful or pleasant, whether I shut the mouths of lions or get devoured (Hebrews 11), no matter my journey I must find joy in knowing that my everything is for a king.  I hold the hand of my love, I share this revelation, we worship our King.  It’s all for Him.

Oh God, I've wasted it

Recently there has been a phrase reverberating in my mind “I need to live my life.”  Certain events have driven me to a place of feeling the need to climb the highest peak in phoenix and to just shout “Carpe Diem!”  I have a great peace and satisfaction in Christ, but I am longing for adventure, I am longing for fun, for pointless entertainment just so I can feel as if I have freedom.  As one who always has a plan, I have structure and schedules to most of my time, and more importantly, I always attempt to have my life mapped out.  Now these thoughts were shedding from my mind and I just longed for a means to get me to a moment of freedom.  The drug I was chasing was that of adrenaline, and the only fix was to do what I wanted, when I wanted.  I felt alive at the thought of just aimlessly earning money and spending for my own enjoyment as I just sought after selfishness for the sake of selfishness.  I found a job opportunity that would eat little into my schedule but allow me the wages to fund the lifestyle I was now turned on to.  It seemed to all be coming together in my mind.

Oh God how it seemed so clear.  How I could see God drawing me to this place and wanting it for me. How close this happiness was, how I was finally figuring it out, I was finally seeing my joy coming within arm’s reach.  I knew I was intelligent, and if I wanted could earn a good living applying my intelligence to a number of occupations.  Why was I not doing this?  The plans began to unfold in my mind: finally financial stability, finally getting new drums, finally expanding my weapon arsenal, finally just visiting friends, finally.  Now let me take a moment to say that this was not some Godless realization that was ultimately for my selfishness, instead I wanted to discover what I wanted out of life.  I just wanted to see what my passions would grant me and how I could find small joy in hobby’s and in no way longed to replace my longing or satisfaction of Christ.  This was not me on a mission to gain pleasure out of this world, but instead it was me realizing that I have the ability (and possibly the means) to do things I counted as not possible.  This was my moment to dream.

 I could do this, I could get out of debt, I could be free of living a life of poverty.  I found my mind racing at the possibilities for hours upon end. The freedom I have at my fingertips, the ease of diving into it; and it would have been so easy to keep falling into it.  I didn’t want something horribly selfish, I know my tithing would always be adequate, and that I would not be anywhere close to filthy rich so there was not a major threat of materialism creeping in.  I was not longing for the world to be mine, for the stars to bow to me; I just wanted to be free to pursue what I wanted.  Surely God wanted me to grasp happiness, to gain the things that I have been longing for and not neglect the stewardship required with such freedom.  Surely I was not longing for some evil thing to satisfy me in the place of God, I just wanted my life to be comfortable and fun for a change.

I was finding such excitement in the possibilities when I decided to do some reading. Let me preface this with the fact that I am big fan of the writings of Dr. John Piper (Anyone who has known me for 10 minutes knows this).  I have been rereading a few works of his and I came across one that was given me upon my High School graduation from my church family.  Inside it written were the words “May you come to find greater happiness and joy in God than anything else in this life,” signed my church family.  I was not shaken by these words, for honestly I knew my heart and it was not to try to find satisfaction in any of the things I longed for.  I was rooted well in the understanding that my only true satisfaction came from the divine.  This was not a convicting moment, not a revelation of “how selfish am I being,” for honestly I was not craving such things out of some materialistic drive, but out of a longing to embrace each day of this life I have been given. 

I began to read the words of this famous book of Piper’s.  He retells the story of himself as a boy seeing a man who had been prayed for for decades by a congregation.  One night this very man slowly came down to the aisle of the church to submit himself to Christ.  As joyous as this occasion should have been, the man could not stop sobbing, for the only words he could utter were “Oh God, I’ve wasted it.  I’ve wasted it.”  The decades of his life that were not spent in the arms of Christ, wasted, entirely.  Seizing the day seems to strike a bitter note in my heart for the first time.  I knew my longings were for reasons of self discovery, for developing into the man Christ would have me; and yet the thought strikes me that at the end of the next year of my life I would look to Jesus and simply say “Look at my drums!” Or even say “What a fun year I have had.”  Oh how it would be a waste.  Again, I cannot over emphasize that this process was not to find satisfaction in such items that I longed for, but instead to understand what I really want out of life, and yet what a waste.  How bitter the taste in my mouth to think that I could walk before the starving and impoverished in the world and say “trust Jesus with all you have,” when I would long to squander the freedom God granted me. 

I do not mean to advocate for the self abasement and poverty gospel that our evangelical culture can be seen to embrace.  Instead I call into question my longing to seize today and would easily write the purposes of Christ out of it. I would gladly pursue temporary comforts and fun all in the name of adventure instead of humbling myself before the throne of God above and saying “Here am I, send me!”  I would be content to get what I want out of today rather than ask what He would have me do with my today.   Oh God, do not let me waste my life.  Do not let the comforts of this place be more appealing than advancing your kingdom.  Do not let my desires be wasted.  Do not let my work be wasted, do not let my today be wasted.  I want to seize today, but only if it counts, and is not another moment wasted.   A day spent walking with you, seeking your command is never wasted.  You save me from the longing of comfort, you save me from the American dream.  God you save me from my wants, and let me want what truly matters: You.

Philippians 3:8 “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.”

1 Corinthians 6:12 “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.  All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”